Ch. 25

Where will I meet my fate?
Baby I'm a man, I was born to hate
And when will I meet my end?
In a better time you could be my friend

I wake up, it's a bad dream
No one on my side
I was fighting
But I just feel too tired
To be fighting
Guess I'm not the fighting kind
Wouldn't mind it
If you were by my side
But you're long gone
Yeah you're long gone now

Keane – Bad Dream

Ch. 25

First Round: Flyers win series in 5 games.

Second Round: Flyers win series in 6 games.

Conference Finals: Flyers win series in 6 games.

Stanley Cup Finals: Flyers win series in 7 games.

Flyers are your 2011 Stanley Cup Champions.

Broad St. Philadelphia was completely out of control.  I didn’t think a city could party harder than Chicago, but the city of Philadelphia proved me wrong.  It was a sea of Orange and Black all around town and I was trashed off my ass with my brothers during the parade.  Another classic rap was made for the occasion, this time I nailed it.  Damn, it felt great to be a Stanley Cup Champion 2 years in a row.

As much as I wanted to forget it and push it out of my head, there was still a piece of the puzzle that was completely missing.  Come game time, I had been 100% focused and could keep my mind from going through all the loops on the rollercoaster ride of emotions.  Come down time, I would be a complete mess and it felt as if I was spiraling out of control.  I fucking hated her.  I should have figured she was capable of something like this, especially given how long she lied to me.  Yet the other part of me wanted to remember how broken she probably was, causing me to sympathize and rationalize everything.  This is exactly why I’ve always been the independent kind.  It was going to be a long time until I trusted another woman.

The night we won the Cup in Philadelphia, I fucked two different girls after becoming totally obliterated.  It was the first time I touched another woman since Abby and as much as it felt good it felt just as terrible at the same time.

The week after winning the Cup, I stayed in the city to take care of the normal team PR business that came along with a Championship and found myself with a different girl each night.  It would dull the ache for a bit but not for long.  It was really bad when they would say something that either Abby would have said or would have made fun of me about.

The one night this one girl made a comment about the Audi, saying how it was such a sweet car and how it was the perfect set of wheels.  Before Abby, I would have grinned and noted her good sense of style.  That night I ended up choking on my own spit, wishing to God she would just complain about how it was typical for a guy like me to own a car like that.

The night before I was leaving for Lethbridge I was over in Jersey, at Sea Isle Heights, partying with Carter, Leino, Richards and Carcillo at some dive bar along the boardwalk.  I was totally fucked up and about ready to find a place to take the shore-trash I had picked up to get a quick hit when I felt a hand come down on my shoulder, effectively stopping me in my tracks.

“Dude, don’t fucking do it,” Richie growled in my ear so that only I could hear him.

“Why the hell not?” I spat back, more than annoyed with my friend.

“She ain’t fucking worth it.”

“Your right, Abby isn’t worth it and that’s why I’m doing whatever the hell I please,” I slurred.

“No, that’s where you’re wrong.  Abby is worth it and this chick isn’t worth it.  You are on a crash course to Hell my friend.”

“She doesn’t care about me.  Hell, she’s probably fucking Tyler as we speak…” I yelled, calling some attention to myself as people walked past us.  I saw the bouncer begin to walk in our direction as I pushed Richie away from me.

Richie grabbed me by the shirt and drug me outside into the cool sea-salted air.  “She’s not with Tyler you stupid ass.”

“What?”

“I said she’s not with Tyler.  I talked to Lupul yesterday and asked him,” Mike said in a quieter voice.  “Loops actually took her out to dinner, hoping to start something with her but all she did was talk about how she was never dating hockey players again.”

“Stop bullshitting me.”

“I’m not bullshitting you.”

“Then what the fuck is going on?!  Why did she lie to me?!” I threw my hands up into my hair, dropping myself backwards against the brick wall of the building.

“I wish I had an answer to that.”

“So all my paperwork is in for the University of Toronto,” I announced proudly to Kristy as I walked out of the admissions office.  It was the middle of June and she was up visiting with me and the rest of my family.  Unbeknownst to her, Patrick was going to propose to her while she was here.  Some could easily see it as rushing things, but I saw it as the most perfect thing to do.  They would actually be engaged for a year or two before they finally did tie the knot, but they were perfect for each other.

“I can’t believe you are going to go to Law School,” she laughed.  “I think you are totally crazy.”

“This just makes the most sense…”

My words just caused Kristy to snort at me.  “I don’t think anything you’ve ever done has made any sense to me, at least not since you’ve moved back here to Toronto.  You just keep telling yourself all these things,” she waved me off.

“Why can’t you just support me?!” I stopped and whined.

“Because you’re my best friend and I totally think you are off your rocker some days,” she spouted back, annoying me even farther.

“What do you want me to do?”

“Call him and beg for forgiveness.”

“Um, no.”

Kristy got in my face and stared me down.  “Tell me you don’t love him.”

“I don’t love him.”

“Ha! I knew it! You can’t even keep your eyes focused on mine when you say it.  You’re totally lying!” she exclaimed happily as she began bouncing down the sidewalk.

“Wait! Let me try it again! I swear I’m not lying!”

“Nope, you got your chance and you can’t even not lie to your best friend.  I’m appalled,” she yelled at me playfully yet in a tone that also told me she wasn’t overly happy about my lies.

 I can’t even lie to myself properly.  Throughout the playoffs I found myself constantly looking for him on the TV, hanging on every interview he might have done to the point that I’d look things up on the internet just to see him and hear him.  It was as if I was a junky trying to quit a habit but having no luck because every time I’d see him I felt my heart rip open a little bit more.  It was getting harder and harder to defend my decision but my stubbornness kept me from picking up the phone and calling him.

He looked good, in that scruffy, lumberjack way.  His beard was full, his hair was longer and a total mess after games.  My bad dreams were no longer the one’s of Brendan’s accident; now they consisted of hot, passionate scenes with Kris or just random events that occurred during our short relationship.  A close up of his smile and blue eyes was all I needed to begin crying in my sleep.  I would often wake up tangled in my sheets, panting for air, only to find that I was all alone and in need of his warm, hard body wrapped around me.

I had no one to blame but myself.

It was good to be back home in Lethbridge.  It was obvious to me that I needed to be around my family and friends, I needed to get some thing straightened out with myself and most importantly my best friend was getting married which meant a week at the lake with the guys.

“So what exactly happened with you and Abby?” Bryce asked as we sat around the huge bonfire we built by the lake.  It was probably about 2am in the morning and we all had more than our fair share of alcohol on board.  Somehow half of us were still awake, shooting the shit.

“Wait, you don’t have a date to the wedding?” Trevor suddenly sat up in his chair, sounding quite put out by this fact.

“Hold on, hold on!” Freddy yelled dramatically.  “I think the real point to this is, 2-time Stanley Cup winner, Kris Versteeg got dumped?!” he continued loudly talking into the warm night.  “Holy fucking shit.”

“Shut the fuck up Freddy or I’m going to throw you in the fucking lake,” I yelled back, knowing there was no way in hell I could even think about standing up and doing such a thing.  Hell I was at the point that I was pretty much settled on the fact that I’d be spending the whole night out here.

“I think you struck a cord, Freddy,” Jeff laughed.  “So dooo tell Kristopher.”

“Shit happened and because of that, shit is done,” I said, hoping to god I wouldn’t have to explain much more.

“She’s Brian Burke’s daughter,” Bryce so smartly piped up.

A collection of gasps went up around the fire as I groaned and cursed Bryce.  “Well now that you know who it is then you can understand that she’s been through a lot of shit the last two years and unfortunately everything that happened to Brian this past spring really took a toll on her,” I growled, suddenly annoyed by the fact that I felt I needed to defend her.

“So when are you going to go get her back, Casanova?” someone chirped.

“I’m still trying to figure that out,” I mumbled.  I thought I said it to myself, but unfortunately things tend to come out a lot louder than you think when you are drunk.

“Well what are you waiting for, Romeo?  Do I need to do everything for you?” Mitch chuckled.

“Abby,” my dad called out from his home office as I walked by with a load of my laundry.

“Yeah, Daddy?” I stopped and backed up so that I was standing in the doorway.

“Put down the laundry basket and get your ass in here for a moment, would ya?”

I frowned and dropped the basket, thinking about how long it had been since we had a “talk” in the office.  I’m thinking it had to have been at least since I was in the freshman or sophomore year of college.  “What’s up?” I asked as I flopped down on one of the leather chairs.

“So I hear your papers are submitted for the University?” he started out asking.

“Yup.  I should be hearing back within the next day or two about signing up for classes.”

“Have you contacted Drexel yet?”

“No…” I said slowly.  “I just wanted to make sure I was accepted to Toronto first before I dropped there, especially with it being so late and all.”

“Are you sure this is what you want to do?”

I dropped my hands on my lap and looked up at him.  “Yes.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Excuse me?”

“You never wanted to go to Law School.”

“Well, I changed my mind.”

“This wouldn’t have anything to do with me would it?”

“This conversation wouldn’t have anything to do with what everyone else has felt they needed to hound me about it, would it?” I countered, suddenly feeling overly annoyed.

“Well if they have been asking why things have changed since the accident, then yes,” Dad said plainly.  “Don’t think I don’t know what you are doing…”

“And what would that be?”

“You are blaming yourself, just like you have since your Mom’s Dad passed away.  Remember, you might be able to fool everyone else around you, but I am not one of those people,” he said in his stern fatherly voice.  “Now what the hell is going on with you?!  If Brendan was here, he’d probably smack some sense into you but since he’s up in Heaven watching, I’m going to do it for him.”

“Daddy…”

“No Daddy me.  You are moving back to Philly in the fall and I don’t care if I have to pack your shit up myself and move it.  And as for Kris…”

“Kris and I are done,” I mumbled.

“Did he say that or did you?”

I just sat there silent, but of course the silence probably spoke volumes.

“I don’t ever remember raising a daughter that shied away from her dreams when shit hit the fan.  I have appreciated all your help around here, but I am better now and I will be going back to my normal life which means you should be doing the same.”

“This is my normal life…”

He just left out an annoyed laugh before glaring across the desk at me.  “You call this mope-ing around and occasional smartass remarks normal?  Less mope-ing and more smartass remarks is your norm, kiddo.”

I just sat there biting my lip knowing deep down inside he was totally correct.

A couple days later…

“Abby!” Jennifer yelled out from the patio as I was swimming with my sisters and Kristy in the pool.

“Yeah?”

“There is some cute guy and girl at the door asking for you.”

“Who is it?”

“He said his name is Mitch?” Jennifer said shrugging her shoulders.

“Do you think it could be Kris’s little brother?!” Kristy squeaked as she quickly swam over to the edge of the pool to join into the conversation.

I shrugged and looked up at Jennifer.  “Well, I guess show them back here and I’ll get out of the pool in the mean time.”

“Okie,” Jennifer said cheerfully.  Of course I didn’t miss the wink she gave Kristy before walking back towards the house.

“Do you have something to do with this?!” I hissed as I pulled myself up on the pool ledge.

“No! I swear to God I didn’t,” Kristy threw up her arms with a sincere look on her face.  “I would never do that to you, you know that.”

I believed her.  She was right, she would never go behind me back and do something drastic like this.  “I wonder who the girl is…” I murmured while wrapping the towel around my waist and at that Jennifer came back outside with the 2 visitors in tow.