Ulterior Motives

I've been thinking of making a blog for just my one-shots and short stories for a while now and today I finally got the ambition to do so! As of right now I have one story posted... I will be posting some others as the weeks go by and I get them proof-read. Obviously this is just a space for the extra things I write which might not all be on hockey players... we shall see... click on the link, check it out and follow!! :o)

www.needabreakdownhere.blogspot.com

Don't Give up On Me

Well, I said I wouldn't do it. I said I wouldn't be writing full-stories, but this article and a talk in Philly with K and RebelHeart made the gears begin to turn on a player that people either hate or love. I can't say he's gorgeous, but I can't say he's ugly... I guess I want to say that he is intriguing and makes for a good story character. I am not a Capitals fan, so please don't think of me as one. However, with some help from some willing people, I've had some help in making this story seem as authentic as possible.

I am sure I will have some readers that won't be willing to read this because of the character, and that is fine, but I ask you keep an open mind (like me) and remember I have yet (at least I hope) to steer you in the wrong direction with my random pick of guys... Enjoy and please let me hear your comments (whether you like it or not)!!

www.dontgiveuponme8.blogspot.com

Check it Out!!

Posting one of my archived stories... www.loveandflowers19.blogspot

Check it out!! I'd love to see you all over there and hear your comments!! Also keep on a look-out... I am planning on making a page that will just be my short-stories and one-shots... some will be old and some will be new as the year goes by! I'll let you know when and where! Hope you're all well and thanks again for the support!!

New Story...

Please check out the new story I've been building... www.ifnotnow89.blogspot.com
Well, I'm sad to say that this will probably be the last story I write for roughly a year. For those who don't know me, I'm starting paramedic school in September and my friends and instructors have already warned me that I will have no life but studying, practicals and sleeping. So, I wanted to have one last hurrah before it is time to buckle down and become a full-time student for the first time since I graduated college a few years ago.

I will definitely be posting the rest of the stories I have written and posted on the Hockey Fantasy Fiction board since many have expressed interest in that...so no worries.

I only have a few chapters written of this so far and I contemplated on waiting to post it until it was finished, but like any writer, I am looking for feedback!! It will be a chapter or 2 until we learn about my new hockey muse... strangely, he has been someone that I've been attempting to write about for some time now, but nothing ever seemed to work until this time. I hope you all enjoy and will follow me along on this last adventure before my hiatus!!

Yes... Yet another story...

Make Me Believe

This is a story I started writing last year and ended up stopping it for several months because I ended up getting lost and wasn't able to find my way back out with it. Well, some things happened in current events (i.e. trades and whatnot) and now I've found some motivation to finish this... I have to admit. I'm not a Pittsburgh fan. I don't write stories on Pens players because frankly, I'm tired of reading about Pens players all the time.  I found Mr. Neal when he played for the Stars, which is where this story begins and for that he will always be a Dallas Star in my book so that way I don't make myself for liking a Penguin. So the 2nd half of this journey is going to be a little strange to me since I'm treading on territory I'm not used to and that's writing about the status-quo players who frequently show up in Hockey FanFics. I guess we all end up doing things we aren't comfortable with, whether it's in life or in this case, writing. Eitherway, I hope you enjoy it and I can't wait to hear your comments!!

The first several chapters will be posted every other day around 8am since the first half is done... so hopefully you won't be too overwhelmed if you are reading my other stories that are winding down. :)

Another Story...

Just a little plug.... I just started posting another story I had written before... it's called Noticed and it's about Biz and Taylor Pyatt... hope you come over and check it out!!

http://www.noticed12.blogspot.com/

Brand New Story!!

Hey All!

If you enjoyed this story, I invite you to check out my new jaunt called Crush. http://www.crushme28.blogspot.com/
I of course am sticking to my norm of writing about the "non-popular boys," so I hope you give it a chance and check it out!!

Also, don't forget, I have been posting some back stories I've already posted on HockeyFantasyFiction... this one being http://www.hometownheroes36.blogspot.com/

Comments of love and hate are always accepted!! LOL. Enjoy!

Ch. 28

A/N: Our journey with Kris and Abby has come to an end!! Thank you all very much for reading and you comments!  It definitely puts a smile on my face to read your ideas and about how much you got into the story.  Please check in over at one of my other stories I'm posting, Hometown Heroes. Enjoy!!

I am a one way motorway
I'm the one that drives away
then follows you back home
I am a street light shining
I'm a wild light blinding bright
burning off alone

it's times like these you learn to live again
it's times like these you give and give again
it's times like these you learn to love again
it's times like these time and time again

I am a new day rising
I'm a brand new sky
to hang the stars upon tonight
I am a little divided
do I stay or run away
and leave it all behind?

Foo Fighters – Times Like These

also check out this song that plays a role in this chapter... Ray LaMontagne - Hold You in My Arms

Ch. 28

This was her test.  I pursued her from the very beginning; it was now her turn to come after me.  Her taking the step to get on the plane from Toronto to come here today was obviously a big step in the right direction, but I wanted her to make an even bigger gesture.  I knew as soon as I pulled her close to me on the dance floor that there would be no way I wouldn’t be able to forgive her.  She was definitely the missing piece of the puzzle these last few months and no matter how much there was a part of me that wanted to just tell her to go to hell, the other 3^rd of me said I didn’t have that option.  I was never known to be a patient man, but they always say love makes you do and say things you’ve never imagined before.  Abby proved that 100%.  A sly smile slowly grew on my lips as I heard her voice call after me and it grew bigger when I heard her feet hitting the ground running up behind me.

“Kris!” she called out breathlessly.  “Kris, please wait.”

“Why should I wait?” I yelled back, not stopping and not daring to turn around.  I was still angry and she was not going to win this that easily.

“Because I’m sorry.  I fucked up, I know.  I’m here because I needed you to hear that…”

“You are very selfish, Abby Burke,” I complained as she finally caught up to me.

“So are you, Kris Versteeg,” she bit back.

This made me stop and look at her.  “Um, I’m pretty sure you are the one that is supposed to be groveling at the moment and not pointing out my faults,” I chirped incredulously.

“Last time I checked it took two to have a relationship,” she breathed, trying to catch her breath.  “If you want groveling, then me chasing after you is probably the most you are going to get.”

I couldn’t help but let out an ironic laugh before I plainly stated, “I hate you.”

“Well, I can’t totally blame you there,” she said, obviously resigned to the fact that she was in the wrong.  “I obviously had some things I needed to work out with myself before I could work things out with you.”

“Why did you push me away, Abby?  We could have worked things out together; instead you pushed me away and lied to me again.”

“I thought it was better just to push you away, it’s obvious I’m a bad luck charm…”

“You were my good luck charm, Abby,” I said quietly, putting my face in front of hers so that she would stop looking shyly down at the ground.  “I’ve been fucking miserable, which I’m sure Mitch and Dawn have both told you that…”

She left out a quiet laugh as she nodded her head.  “I haven’t been much better, just ask Kristy.”

“Like I told you before, I’m not Tyler, I wasn’t just going to be okay with you walking away from me and forget about you until it’s convenient for me.”  I paused, “Damn it Abby, I needed you during the playoffs.  You should have been on the truck as we were paraded down

Broad Street

, I needed you there to keep me grounded and you weren’t there…”

“I didn’t miss a game,” she said quietly.

“You didn’t?” I looked at her surprised.

“Nope.  I would get mad when the camera would focus in on someone besides you.”

“Heh.”

“I was totally pathetic.”

“You still are.”

“You’re not any better, hot-shot,” she pushed playfully at me.

“So how did Mitch talk you into coming here?”

“He brought cookies,” she laughed as some tears sprung into her eyes.

“Damn, if I would have known that…”

I was going to finish off with something along the lines that I would have tried bribing her with cookies sooner but she cut my words off as she pushed herself against me and kissed me.  If I wanted her to make the first move, she definitely did this time.  I pulled her closer against me, wrapping an arm around her as I pressed her backwards, kissing her hard.  I lightly bit at her lip and soon my tongue gained entrance to her sweet mouth.  I felt instant heat when her hands came up and cupped my face.  The kiss deepened and I smiled when she left out a content sigh.  By the time we parted, she was lying in my arms like I had just dipped her backwards from dancing the tango with her.  We were both breathing hard, but her green eyes were sparkling just as I had remembered.

“I love you, Kris,” she whispered.

“I love you too, Abby,” I whispered back as I pulled her back upright and hugged her, breathing in the scent I had dreamed about for so long.

Sounds of Ray LaMontagne’s I Could Hold You in my Arms, began floating out from the tent where the wedding reception was still in full swing.  Without saying a word, we started swaying back and forth to the tune, and I couldn’t help but chuckle at our impulsiveness that ultimately felt as normal as breathing.  This is exactly what I missed, the laughter, the spontaneity, the feeling of having her in my arms…and then the air around us suddenly turned sour as soon as I heard Janell’s voice calling from across the grounds.

“Ah, hearing her has made me remember to ask, how the hell did you end up with that?!” I pulled back from his arms and raised an accusing eyebrow.

“I was out at the bar with the guys, got drunk and somehow asked her to be my date for the wedding.  Believe me when I say that I didn’t do a damn thing with her.  Besides, Freddy and Trevor would never allow that to happen, especially with how drunk I was that night,” he contended.

I couldn’t help but roll my eyes and laugh evilly as she walked up.  I began laughing harder as I watched her attempting to stumble through the uneven grass in those ridiculous shoes yet still trying to look stern with her hands on her hips and pursed lips.  “What the hell is going on?” she spit, placing herself in between Kris and I so that I could only see the back of her head.  Even this side of her is ugly.  “I’ve been waiting for you to come back and dance with me, like a real date, and I end up finding you out here with this girl,” she continued, motioning towards me but not daring to look me in the eyes.

“Um, this girl,” Kris piped up “is actually my girlfriend Abby.”

“Excuse me?!” she shrieked, making me start laughing hysterically once more.  I was thrown off guard when she turned around and slapped me hard across the face.  I heard Kris grunt out a surprised “Oh!” before I slapped back.  Next thing I knew, I was rolling around on the ground throwing punches as the bitch pulled my hair.

It was quite comical and it probably would have been even funnier if I didn’t know Abby could probably kill Janell.  Abby was brought up with boys and played hockey with boys; she was a tough chick who was throwing jabs and upper cuts like she had been trained to do.  I couldn’t really blame her considering the fact that Janell really had a hold of her hair.  I yelled over to the tent to get some attention so that I’d have help in breaking up the fight but everyone just stood around cheering and clapping.  Mitch finally came over and helped me separate the two.

“I’m thinking you should ask for a refund on those shoes because they were probably used at the local whore house before you bought them!” Abby squawked over at Janell.  I was holding Janell whose dress was now only being held up by one strap and was bleeding from the lip.  Mitch was holding a kicking, seething Abby who was holding her hand over her hair, probably making sure she wasn’t bald in some spots.  Her pretty pale yellow dress now had grass stains all over it and she looked fucking wild and beautiful.  That is my girl.  She is finally back to her normal self.

Everyone was still gathered around when Dawn, the woman of the day, pushed her way through the crowd.  “Janell,” she said in this stern voice that had been used more than once on me when we were dating.  “I think you’ve made enough of a spectacle of yourself here today.  Please leave.”

Still holding Janell, I turned her around so that she was facing the opposite direction and released her.  She huffed, sniffled and grabbed her shoes before stomping away towards the parking-lot.  I silently threw up a prayer that my excuse to not drive her here had worked; otherwise I would have had to drive her home.  When I turned back around I found Dawn standing between Abby and me, scowling.

“Are you two fixed now?”

Abby and I looked across at each other and just nodded, slightly ashamed at what had taken place on Dawn and Trevor’s special day.

“Well, then I expect you to get cleaned up,” she bossed to Abby and get your ass out onto the dance floor so you can catch the bouquet.  And you,” she turned to me.  “You better catch the fucking garter because I’m fairly sure you are not going to find a woman who has more spunk than her because obviously she could show you a few things when it comes to throwing punches.”  I watched in humor as she nodded her head, as if to finalize her speech and turned back to the crowd that had gathered.  “Now let’s get back to this party!” she yelled.  Everyone left up some whoops and hollers and followed the bride back to the tent, leaving Mitch, Abby and I standing alone.

“She’s still my date for the night,” Mitch chewed.

“For tonight,” I quipped.  “After the reception, she’s all mine.”

“Please tell me someone has an extra pair of shorts and shirt I can borrow,” Abby interrupted as she looked down at her ruined dress.

“This is exactly why I can’t dress you up and take you out!” I chirped.  “You obviously can’t behave yourself…”

“And you wouldn’t want it any other way,” she grinned before jumping up on me and wrapped her legs around me as we kissed.

“Ouch!” I cried as Kris rubbed some sort of ointment over the cut and bruise Janell had given me from an elbow I took right below my eye.  It was obvious I was going to have a bit of a shiner in the morning.

“Would you stop moving,” Kris growled.  “You are being a baby.”

“It fucking hurts,” I pouted.

“Whatever hot shot,” he mocked me.  “You sure had no problem throwing the punches and I’m fairly sure she’s in worse off shape than you right now.”

“She deserved what she got,” I huffed, crossing my arms.  I was sitting in his bed, propped up on some pillows as he straddled me playing the nurse.  His room was fairly plain, due to the fact that he hadn’t done much decorating.  His mom and step-dad just moved into the new home and he was given the basement for the summer.  He had informed me on the way home from the wedding that he had just broken ground for a house that bordered his mom’s property.  He also told me that he was going to take me over there first thing in the morning so that I could look at the plans and go over any changes I might want. When I told him that it wasn’t up to me, he just threw me a glance that told me not to argue.

“You crack me up,” he laughed at me before leaning in to growl into my ear, “But I have to say it was totally sexy to see you all hyped up like that.”

“Of course you would find that sexy,” I rolled my eyes only to regret it as soon as the pain shot in.  Speaking of sexy, he looked that and then some in just his tux pants and a white under-tank.  He must have noticed me checking him out because he left out that unmistakable cocky laugh when he removed himself from me.  “Where are you going?” I whined.

“I’m not allowed to call you sexy, but you are allowed to sit there and drool as you look at me?”

I pushed myself off the pillows and crawled to the edge of the bed.  “Like you don’t like my attention?”

“Never said that,” he laughed while pulling his under-shirt up and over his head.  I bit back a groan as I watched his muscles flex and with his shirt off I was now privy to seeing the indents right above the low-waist of his tux pants.  “I heard that groan, Abby.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I played innocently.

He walked slowly towards me, exaggerating every step like he was a male model walking the runway.  I squeaked as his hands came in contact with my shoulders and firmly pushed me backwards onto the bed.  Soon he was over-top of me, looking as if he was ready to devour me.  I of course was going to let him do whatever the hell he wanted to me.

“I want you.”

“Then take me,” I breathed out.  He immediately went to work by capturing my lips between his.  He kissed me with passion and ferocity that stole my breath away, but I kept coaxing him on as I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him down so that the length of his body was pressed against the length of mine.  I purred when the late day scruff on his face chafed my cheek as he began laying kisses down my chin and onto my neck.  Every little movement turned me on even more and I couldn’t help but claw at him.  I could feel him laughing at me but I didn’t care.  It had been months without him and all I wanted was to feel him in me again.

He sensed my urgency and soon he was pulling the t-shirt he had given me to sleep in, up and over my head, leaving me practically naked besides the pair of cream colored, lace boy shorts.

Kriiiiissss,” she cried out, possibly forgetting that we were in my mom’s house and totally not as alone as we had been the other times we made love in past.  I was busy running my tongue over one of her hardened nipples so I gently placed a hand over her mouth so that I could keep working on her.  She was obviously more than ready for me, but part of me didn’t want to totally rush this.  That plan was totally thwarted as she began sucking on one of my fingers.

“Shit Abby,” I growled, peeking up to find her looking back at me innocently.  She totally knows how to play the innocent card and I’m an absolute sucker for it.  “If I give it to you now, can we take our time the next time?”

With my finger still in her mouth she nodded her head happily.  I pulled my finger from her mouth, making an obnoxious “pop.”  We both laughed and as I went to drop my pants her hands stopped me.

“Let me help you with that,” she said in a voice full of want.  I dropped my hands at my side and allowed her to unhook the clasp and slowly slide the zipper down.  It was obvious how much I wanted her, the pants and my boxers not leaving much to the imagination as my erection stood on end.  She placed a kiss at the top of my six-pack and then pushed the pants and boxers down over my hips.  I left out a sigh and dropped my head backwards as her hand slowly slid up and down my length, as if she was refamliarizing herself with it.  After the 3^rd or 4^th stroke I stopped her hand with mine and pushed her back onto the bed.  Without saying a word I gently pulled off her sexy boy-shorts.  All the lights were still on and blaring brightly in the room, but it didn’t matter because I wanted to revel in her beauty as she laid on my bed smiling up at me.

I moved her back towards the center of the bed and then positioned myself between her legs.  Leaning down to kiss her, I took my length into my hands and pressed myself into her tight, heated core, capturing her moan of ecstasy in my mouth.  She wrapped around me as if she was made to fit me like a glove.  Once I pushed myself deep into her, I stayed there for a moment, enjoying the feeling of being inside of her where I belonged.  She was made for me and I was made for her.

Who would have thought I’d be laying underneath him begging for him to make me come and love me forever?  I know I wouldn’t have, especially remembering back to how much he first annoyed me and how much I refused to ever date another hockey player.  Of course then you can’t forget how my own stupidity almost caused me to lose this man whose name I was now crying out while attempting to muffle myself as I bit his shoulder.

I now realized that we make life the way we want to make it.  I could have stayed hiding, but then I would have been missing out on the best thing that happened to me.  There was no doubt Brendan had a hand in this and I would forever be grateful for the extra push he gave me through my friends and family.  There were obviously going to be trials and tribulations throughout life, but it was easier when you allowed others to help you through it.  No matter how many times I shattered, I knew I would have Kris to help put me back together and I’d be there to do the same for him.

Side Note:

Hello my followers/commenters/readers!!

I just wanted to let you all know that I am posting another one of my stories.  Like I've said before, Shattered is actually not the first story I've written. And since I've gotten such positive feedback posting on here, I figured why not post some of the other works I've written.

So please go over and check out http://hometownheroes36.blogspot.com This story is near and dear to my heart, mainly due to the fact that the main female character is a firefighter, something that I also am... so everything is as realistic as I could get it, making it my pride and joy.

I will be posting a chapter every other night! When I begin posting the new one I'm writing I will be sure to let you know on here.

Look for the last chapter of Shattered tomorrow around 1pm EST. Thank you again for your awesome support and comments!!

Ch. 27

A/N: Just wanted to give a shout out to my commenters... I thank you for really getting into the story as much as I'm into! It truly makes writing that much easier. Our story is winding down as some of you have probably already imagined... but no worries, I am already in the process of starting a new one and I have a bunch that I've already written and am willing to post on here.  I will post a poll within the next day or two to find out who you might be interested in reading about next! As for now, enjoy the first part of the highly anticipated "wedding."

I love you more than songs can say
But i can't keep running after yesterday

Why you wanna break my heart again
Why am I gonna let you try

When all we ever do is say goodbye

John Mayer – All We Ever Do Is Say Goodbye

Ch. 27

"Oh Steegey, I still can't believe I'm your date for the wedding," Janell crooned as she walked up to the tent to be seated.  It was a beautiful setting.  Dawn always talked about an outdoor wedding and Trevor did not deny her.  Not that I would have denied her that either, I was a sucker for the romantic settings.  Too bad my date looks like a complete skank.  I cringed when she came prancing over in the clear plastic platform shoes, the ones you see the hookers from the Bunny Ranch running around in.  Her dress was this tight, bright red thing that totally clashed with her red hair.  She was obviously going to be the one girl that was found at every wedding; the one that thought she had to make a statement when all the statement said was, "Look at me, I'm trashy."  Fuck me.

"Hi, Janell," I said politely, leaning in to give her a quick peck on the cheek as Bryce was elbowing me like crazy and sniggering loudly.  Janell had to have heard him, but she played the deaf role well and just smiled sweetly at him.  "Bride or groom side?" I asked through a fake smile as I offered her my arm to usher her to her seat.

"Groom of course," she said as if it was something I should have known, but then I remembered that Trevor had been one of the guys that had gotten with her when we were still in High School.  This could be a long night.  "You look totally hot," she whispered into my ear as we walked slowly down the aisle, so that she wouldn't trip and make a fool of herself.  "I'm totally looking forward to the dancing tonight," she continued in a voice that told me she was looking forward to a lot more that I would prolly need a ton of alcohol to even begin thinking about.  Something tells me that no amount of alcohol could get me that stupid.

"Yeah, for sure," I grinned through my teeth while unlatching her death grip from my arm.  "Well, here we are," I said politely.  "See you after dinner," I added, holding back the "that is if I don't run away before then."

I practically ran down the aisle to get back to standing with the guys once more, it was then that I realized Mitch hadn't shown his face since we got ready this morning.  "Dude, Freddy, where the fuck is Mitch?  He's supposed to be here helping us," I growled while looking around the landscape for my middle brother.

"I actually just got a text from him, he's going to be here in a minute," Freddy said as if it wasn't a big deal that Mitch was late for his job.  It is one thing to be late, but it's a totally different matter when you are late to anything at a wedding, it is just disrespectful.

5 minutes later, Mitch came strolling across the grass with a big shit-ass grin on his face.

"Hey guys, sorry I'm late, my date was a little late in getting ready.  She's nervous," he continued with a wink of the eye.

"Who is this date of yours anyway?" I asked, not totally caring.

"She's not from around here.  I met her during the season at an away game…" he said, seeming to skate around the full answer.  "I left her in the bathroom because she was still fussing over her hair, despite the fact that she looks fucking amazing," he continued, practically drooling over his thoughts.  "She's a little high maintenance."

"I'll trade you," I said quietly as I nodded my head over for him to look at Janell.

He looked over, shivered dramatically while making some sort of mooing noise.  "Yikes, that's just fucking scary," he said honestly while Freddy and Bryce chuckled.  "Sorry dude, she's all yours."

"I hate you all," I grumbled, suddenly feeling quite irritable.

Dawn was kind enough to allow me to finish getting ready with her and her bridesmaids.  It wasn't very convenient to fly into a strange place and expect to get ready and look good all in the same breath.  One of Dawn's bridesmaid's even helped me with my hair.  It had grown out quite nicely over the summer and it was now down to my shoulders.  I had it dyed back to my original dark brown, with golden highlights through out, so it looked totally awesome when we curled it into spirals, pinning just a few pieces back off my face.  My dress was a pale yellow, gauzy, strapless number with an empire waist that came down to my knees.  I finished it off with a pair of silver ballet-flats.  It was fun and flirty, but perfect for an outdoor wedding.  With the tan I acquired from spending my lazy days by the pool, I thought I looked pretty stunning.

"I don't think I could pull off that dress with no heels, but you somehow make it work," one of the girls commented as I stood in front of the mirror, finishing up my make-up.

"Yeah, after almost breaking my ankle at the last outdoor wedding I attended wearing heels, I vowed never to do it again."

"Totally agree with you," she smiled as she pulled up her dress revealing a pair of plain flip flops.  We were both giggling when Dawn came over.  She looked beautiful and was radiant as a bride should be on her wedding day.

"You look beautiful, Dawn," I complimented her as I took her hands and squeezed them.  She and I surprisingly became fast friends when she and Mitch spent those two days out in Toronto.  She really had a sweet personality, a little high maintenance at times, but what girl wasn't?

"You are going to make his jaw drop when he sees you," she countered with a wink.  "Get out there and have Mitch flaunt you down the aisle before it's my turn to get all the attention," she shooed me away as the rest of the girls yelled out words of good luck and encouragement.  Before I stepped out onto the patio of the establishment I took a deep breath and sent up a silent prayer to Brendan.

Don't fail me now, Brendan.

I was just walking up the aisle from seating two Great Aunts of Dawn's when I looked up and noticed the pale yellow dressed girl who was shaking hands with the rest of the groomsman.  The boys looked mesmerized, she seemed to be laughing, but I wasn't close enough to hear her; Mitch was grinning like the cat that finally caught the runaway mouse that had been eluding him for so long.  The way she held herself was all too familiar and the closer I got the more my eyes got wider.  Her smooth, tanned skin.  Her perfectly toned legs and arms.  The long, graceful neck I remembered laying kisses on.

It can't be.

She then turned, arm and arm with Mitch.  Oh, it totally is.

"Oh Kris!  This is my date, Abby," Mitch announced happily.  If we wouldn't have been in public and I wasn't so shocked by her being only a few feet away from me, I would have punched him out.  His words were muffled by the blood rushing to my ears.  She looked up at me for a split second before looking shyly down at her shoes.  Before I could get a word out, Mitch walked her past me and down the aisle to seat her on Dawn's side.

She looked perfect.  Hell she looked more than perfect, she looked as if she walked right out of heaven.  I wanted to run down the aisle after them, feeling the sudden urge to take her out of here and…and…well, I wasn't quite sure what I was going to do.  Half of me wanted to scream and yell until I was blue in the face; to put her back on the plane to Toronto and to stay the hell away from me.  The other half of me wanted to kiss and touch her until we both couldn't feel all the hurt and anger that had plagued both of us these last few months.  Then there was the horny part in me that wanted to hate fuck her and make her scream out her apologies as I had my way with her. 

Just as Mitch came strolling back up to us, the moms of the bride and groom were ready to be seated, so I was unable to confront him or even begin to ask the questions that would gnaw at me throughout the service.

His hair was perfectly spiked, his blue eyes were sparkling in the sunlight that had filtered into the tent and he looked like something out of GQ.  The baby-blue tux-tie made his eyes look like they were projecting the clear blue sky that was gracing the wedding party today.  Even Jackson in a tux would have not turned me on as much as Kris in a tux did.  He looked fucking amazing as he stood up in front of the friends and family that had gathered for his two friends.  As much as I wanted to pay attention to the beautiful service playing out in front of me, I couldn't rip my eyes away from Kris.  Seeing him live and in person, I instantly realized that watching him on HDTV during the playoffs did him no justice.

I could tell he was either nervous about standing up front or totally annoyed by the fact I was there.  He was constantly clenching and unclenching his jaw.  I was pretty much sold on the latter reason because he seemed to tense even more every time I caught him sneaking a glance over at me.  Luckily the service was short and sweet because I couldn't get out of the tent quick enough.  Despite the fact we were still technically outdoors, I still felt as if I was in a dark, closed room that didn't allow for enough oxygen.  I found myself gasping for air while holding onto a big oak tree on the property when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Abby, are you okay?" Mitch asked quietly as I turned to find him looking at me worriedly.

"Fuck, no," I breathed out honestly.  "I don't know if this was the right thing to do…"

"It was totally the right thing to do.  You need to suck it up here sister and dish out that attitude I know you have," he said with a wink, instantly making me smile.  "Remember what I said, if things don't work out with Kris, you can definitely have me."

I swatted at him and shook my head.  "Don't you have pictures to take?"

"I do, but I wanted to make sure you were okay first," he said in a sincere tone that made me realize the Versteeg boys were brought up the way boys should be brought up.  "Come over and hang out with my mom, she'll talk your ear off and I'm sure she'll be thrilled to see you."  I took his offered hand and walked across the lawn with him, feeling a little better after the pep-talk.

"I still can't believe you are here, Abby!" Marilyn exclaimed, "and you are Mitch's date?" she raised a confused eyebrow.

"Yeah," I shrugged as smiled broadly at her.  "Your son is quite the smooth talker," I joked.

"Which one?" she eyed me curiously.

"Um…"

She startled me as she leaned in to whisper in my ear.  "You better be here to fix whatever happened between you and Kris.  You two make one beautiful couple and he's been miserable all summer, despite winning the Cup for the 2^nd year in a row.  If Mitch thinks you are that important to his brother, then I'm all for this.  That is all I will say," she said in a flat tone that told me she would accept me if things between Kris and I did in fact work out, but it was also a warning not to mess with her when it came to the well-being of her sons.

I nodded and smiled nervously at her.  "Thanks," was all I could say and even that sounded strange.  We began some small talk and while Marilyn was in the middle of telling me how she was still in awe that the boys were old enough to get married, a red head came strutting up to us in this hideous tight red dress that clashed with her hair and I couldn't get over the hooker platforms.  Oh my.

"Hi Mrs. Versteeg!" she cooed as she basically threw herself on Marilyn for a hug.  "Isn't this just so wonderful?!"

Marilyn, being the friendly person that she was, smiled broadly and instantly introduced me to her.  I'm not the snooty type, so I just stood there and smiled politely.  However my smile turned into a dropped jaw when she made some remark about being Kris's date.

"Yeah, I'm still so excited that Kris asked me to be his date for the wedding.  I couldn't believe that he would remember little old me from high school," she continued.  "Did you know that Kris just won the Stanley Cup with the Flyers?" she turned to me, obviously having no clue who I was.

Marilyn was going to cut in to correct Janell, presumably ready to tell her that I was already friends with Kris, but before she could, I started in acting completely clueless.  "Seriously?! Well that is just wonderful news," I over exaggerated my surprise, even adding in the higher pitched voice for extra measure.  I stole a quick glance in Marilyn's direction to find her stifling a laugh.

"Yeah," Janell continued, obviously missing the point that I was making an ass out of her.  "We graduated high school together and I always knew he was going to make it big someday," she fawned while twirling a piece of errant hair.  If this is his rebound, then maybe Mitch really is the better choice.  I was in the middle of nodding to her as if I was totally interested in what she was saying when she suddenly squeaked, "Kriiiiisss!!!" she called out, waving hysterically and then deciding to "run" over to him.  I covered my mouth to keep from laughing loudly as I watched him cringe and try to ignore her.  However, Miss Janell was not one to be put off and she instantly glued her skanky-self to his side.

"Well, isn't she just a delight?" I turned back to Marilyn and smiled sweetly once more.

She was still laughing at the little act that just unfolded in front of her.  "Has Kris told you that I'm the fine arts teacher here in the school district?  I've even directed a few plays here in Lethbridge and I'm thinking you would be an awesome actress," she giggled as she wrapped an arm around me and squeezed my shoulder.

"Don't you dare tell me you had something to do with this," I hissed at Dawn while I held her up for the bride and groomsmen pictures.  She was lying across our arms and threatening us all that bad things would happen if we dropped her.

"If I say yes, you won't drop me will you?" she smiled up at me.

"I'm going to kill you and Mitch," I growled.

"Why?  Because you are mad that Mitch and I obviously had more balls than you to go to Toronto to possibly fix this?  Stop being so damn proud, Kris."

"What if I didn't want to fix this?"

"Well then I'm sure Janell would looooove to latch her crusty claws in you all night," she threw back politely, making me cringe at the thought.  "So let's see Steeger, who do you want to save the last dance for tonight; Janell and her hooker platforms or Abby who looks like a summer princess?"

I stopped her taunting by letting her shoulder drop just enough to make her squeal out in fear.

So far I was able to steer clear from having any sort of contact with Abby, but now that I was basically finished with all my best man chores, I knew there was no way I could keep it up as if she wasn't here.  Besides, I wasn't sure if I really wanted to ignore her the whole night.  She truly was the most beautiful woman at the wedding besides the bride and just like the first time we met, there was something magnetic about her.  I needed to be near her, even if it was just to make smart ass remarks.  Somehow by God's given grace I ended up next to her in the food line.  "What? Is this all you can do to look good?" I chirped her, effectively startling her as I leaned in close to her.

She didn't turn around to face me; instead she kept moving along down the line putting some food on her plate as she spoke.  "I didn't want to waste my best sweats on a function like this."

"Oh, no, definitely not," I mocked in a dramatic lower toned voice.

"So I met your lovely date for the night, you have impeccable taste, Versteeg."

"Don't mock a woman who knows how to wear red.  Red is the color of an independent woman, you know?"

"Mmm, that she is.  I'm sure it took a lot of independence for her not to be glued to your side this minute," Abby said, taking a moment to look around the room, presumably looking around for Janell.

"She's probably in the bathroom fixing her hair and make-up like a good date should do when they are with a professional hockey player," I said haughtily, unable to keep a straight face when Abby snorted.

"Oh, most definitely.  Did she kiss the Audi when you picked her up?"

"Of course!"

"Have fun with that," Abby played coyly as we came to the end of the buffet line.  She turned, sent me a playful wink and walked away leaving me reeling.  How the hell does she think she can come in here and play me like that?  Evil vixen.

"You know, if Kris doesn't take you back after you apologize, I'm single," Freddy winked as we danced one of the slow dance together.  Mitch was helping pour shots for the dollar dance, so he entrusted Freddy with me "for this dance only."  Since I was Mitch's date, I got to sit with the groomsmen, all except for Kris since he was the best man, making him and his date entitled to sit with the bride and groom.  The guys were hilarious and totally brazen, making me less nervous about the whole situation.  I was fairly proud of myself when it came to handling Kris at the buffet table, but knowing Kris I wouldn't get away with that much attitude again.

"Well that's definitely a good thing to know," I laughed easily with Freddy.  "Definitely need to keep my options open…"

"For sure."

Suddenly our swaying was interrupted by a shove and a squeal of laughter.  I turned around to find Janell laughing hysterically as Kris hip checked himself into Freddy, scowling at him.  Freddy quickly pulled me tightly against him, stuck out his tongue and waltzed us in a different direction much to Kris's annoyance it seemed.  These games could get dangerous with more alcohol involved.  Fortunately or unfortunately for me I didn't have to wait for more alcohol to be involved because soon Kris's hand came between us and pushing Freddy firmly away from me. 

"It's time to switch dance partners," he announced simply.  Despite my death grip on Freddy's shoulders, he dropped his hands from my waist and gave me a wink before walking away.  However, no one danced with Janell, she was just left standing in the middle of the dance floor, scowling.  I'm fairly sure I heard her make some unbecoming noise as Kris pulled me close against his hard body, placing his hands low on my waist as I slowly wrapped my arms around his neck.  Everything around us disappeared from my sight at this point; my mind only able to focus on the hurt and wonder in his eyes.  I went to open my mouth to say sorry, but he just said, "Ssh."

My skin prickled from the heat of him.  My mind was reeling from the intensity of his gaze.  He didn't look away for a minute and I cursed myself every time I had to blink, scared to death that when I opened my eyes again he wouldn't be in front of me.  It looked as if he wanted to say something by the way he kept clenching and unclenching his jaw, but instead he held me possessively, allowing the music to take us away.

Unfortunately the spell was broken too soon when the DJ began playing the chicken dance and we had to leave the middle of the dance floor in fear of being stuck in the middle the traditional "make an ass of yourself" wedding song.

He led me off the dance floor but he soon dropped my hand, stood still for a moment and then turned to walk away, leaving me alone as I watched him walk into the dusk.  The unknown hung heavy as the space between us got larger with every step he took away from me.

Ch. 26

A/N: Thank you all for your wonderful comments!! I enjoy them and they make me want to keep this story going on forever...hehe.

Hear me out
Day follows day
Light turns to clay in my hands

How to explain,
So pristine the pain
It was kindness made the cut so clean

I still care for you.

Open me
You'll find
Only bones burned to glass.

I still care for you.

Ray LaMontagne – I Still Care For You

Ch. 26

“So what’s this I hear you don’t have a date to my wedding?” Dawn chirped me as we sat in downtown Lethbridge at my favorite ice cream shop a few days after Trevor’s bachelor party.

“Gee, so glad people like to gossip about me,” I growled.  As much as I was happy to be home, I often found myself wanting to be somewhere else due to conversations like this one.  It made me irritable.

“Oh come on Kris, we live vicariously through you back here.  I don’t want to hear you bitch,” she laughed as she stole my cherry off the top of my sundae like she always did when we were dating.

“Well let’s see,” I began.  “I finally found someone that made me want to be faithful and made me not think of only myself.”

“So you mean you fell in love,” Dawn asked yet it came out more like a reaffirming statement.

“Yeah,” I nodded before taking a spoon full of ice cream into my mouth, hoping it would freeze out the ache I always felt when talking about Abby.

“So what happened?”

“She dumped me.”

“Did you go after her?”

“She insisted I stay away…”

I looked up to find Dawn looking at my like I was messed up.  “Seriously?  Why the hell would you do that?”

“Because her Dad was really in bad shape and I didn’t think it was the right time to just go barging in and demand for her to change her mind,” I said simply, even if it did sound like a lame excuse out in the open.  “Besides, I’m not even quite sure if her dad approves of me…”

“Who is her dad?”

“Brian Burke.”

“Oh, holy hell Kris, that’s like dealing with a royal family!” Dawn exclaimed.

“Brian maybe, but not Abby and Patrick, they are both really cool people.”

“Well, I guess we better find you a new date because you are not going stag,” Dawn said after a lull in the conversation.  “I don’t think it should be too hard considering you are probably considered Lethbridge’s most eligible bachelor at the moment,” she giggled as I just groaned and rolled my eyes.

“So, I’m bringing you some of Grandma’s chocolate chip cookies as a bribe…” Mitch chuckled as he handed the box to me.  I didn’t take them until I hugged him tightly.  “Shit, maybe I’ll just change my mission and just sweet talk you into being my girlfriend,” he joked as he ran his finger tips down my bare back making me jump back and split up the hug.  The girl that was looking at me curiously just slapped him on the back of the head and cursed at him.

“Seriously Mitch, this is exactly why I came along because you Versteeg’s totally get off task when it comes to dealing with women,” she sighed and pushed him aside.  “Abby, my name is Dawn.”

Dawn, as in Kris’s ex-girlfriend. Holy Shit.  I don’t know what I was expecting she would look like, but it wasn’t this.  She was actually a little shorter than me with dark, shoulder length hair.  She was stick thin with maybe b-cup breasts.  She looked slightly high maintenance yet there was something friendly about her smile.  “Nice to meet you Dawn,” I smiled back as I shook her hand, quickly apologizing for my pruned fingers.  “So I must say this is a huge surprise,” I said looking back and forth between the two of them.

“Nice place ya got here, Abbs,” Mitch continued with the small talk.

“Thanks.”

“Well we have some things to talk to you about,” Mitch piped up suddenly.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, and I’m pretty sure you know who the main topic is about…” he said, helping himself to a seat at the patio table.  “But first, we need milk if we are going to eat these cookies,” he said as he opened the tin.

“Um, I think those are my cookies,” I said, quickly swiping them from his paws.

“Come on Abby, I’ve been smelling the damn things the whole plane ride here…” he whined.

“I’ll get the milk, kids,” Kristy intervened, taking the tin of cookies from me and quickly running off into the house as Mitch, Dawn and I were left scowling.

“I’m just going to cut to the chase,” Dawn began.  “We are here to find out if you still have feelings for Kris.”

I sat back, slightly shocked by her bluntness, especially considering this was the first time we were meeting.  “Um…”

“Oh come on Abby.  I saw the two of you together in Reading and you cannot say that you didn’t have feelings for him…”

“Would you let me speak you ass,” I threw back at him.  “I’ll just say this.  I have never met a guy like Kris.”

“He is a different breed,” Dawn giggled in agreement.  “It’s scary though how much Mitch and Bryce take after him,” she finished.

“So are you going to cut to the chase here or not, you two?” I asked as Kristy came back out with the cookies on a tray with some milk in glasses.

“If she tells you she ain’t still in love with Kris, she’s lying big time,” Kristy announced.  She was totally lucky to be carrying the cookies and milk; otherwise I would have punched her.

“Well, that’s exactly what we were wondering,” Dawn said seriously.  “Abby, I’m going to tell you something I never thought I’d ever say after being with him for so many years.  I’ve never seen Kris so bummed out about something that didn’t have to do with hockey or his car.  When he finally opened up and told me about you; I could honestly see something in his eyes that I never saw when he spoke to me about our relationship.  The only thing that makes me hesitant about this whole mission is the fact that you were the one that hurt him and that it’s basically your fault that he hasn’t been smiling as much as he usually does.  So with that being said, if we go through with this plan, you have to promise not to hurt him again.”

Tears of embarrassment, hurt and happiness began spilling down my cheeks.  “For lack of better terms, I was being selfish.”

“Family is always most important,” Mitch suddenly spoke up, sounding a lot older than before.  “Kris had explained to me what you’ve been through and I can totally understand the inner war you have probably been struggling with, Abby…”

“But I have to worry about myself too, right?” I cut him off.  “You have no idea how much I’ve heard that since the end of March,” I mumbled while looking down at the full glass of milk in front of me.  I looked up at him and Dawn who looked a little surprised by my outburst.  “God, look at me, I’m not even fit to be around others…” I sighed.  “It’s just…ugh, everyone keeps telling how I should be handling myself and pointing out how I’ve been wrong in my decisions that it just gets old.  I know I fucked up.  I know that I can’t always control what happens to my friends and family, but sometimes old habits are hard to kick.  I was doing better with that whole fact when I was with Kris, but my Dad’s accident kind of set me back.  So now I’m here, without Kris, and basically without a home after the summer because my Dad has informed me that I will be heading back to Philly so that I can go to Drexel for school,” I blubbered on, noting Kristy’s gasp at the Philly news, since this was the first she had heard about it.

“You know you sound like a spoiled brat,” Mitch said bluntly.  “Kris really should have just stopped here after the game in Ottawa like he originally planned and slap some sense in you.”

“Mitch…” Dawn hissed.

“He’s totally right,” Kristy spoke up, garnering a glare from me.  “Seriously, Abby.  If Kris would know exactly how you’ve been acting he might have actually dumped your ass or at least tell you to get your act together.”

“I’m scared,” I said quietly.  “I’m just scared to live my own life.  I mean look, it’s totally filled with tragic endings, who’s to say that won’t happen here?”

“That’s why we take chances in life,” Dawn suddenly spoke up.  “If I wouldn’t have walked out that night Kris was informed he was being traded, we wouldn’t even be here today and I wouldn’t have realized what I was missing in life.  As much as I loved Kris, Trevor was the chance of a lifetime that I would have probably missed out on if I allowed fear of the unknown to stop me.”

“So what’s this mission?”

“I’m asking you to be my date for Dawn and Trevor’s wedding,” Mitch announced proudly as he puffed out his chest, looking exactly like his brother, but with darker hair.

“What?”

“Yeah, that’s the plan,” Dawn said, sounding like she just now might be second guessing the whole deal.  “We’re uh, we’re going for the element of surprise here,” she continued.  “You know, like in the movies, the girl shows up and the guy is reminded that he still loves her, blah, blah, blah…I’m a total hopeless romantic,” she finished with a smile and a wink.

“And what if the hopeless romantic part bombs and he flips out?” I asked sincerely.

“Then at least you know the ending,” Kristy answered.

“And then I have a date for the rest of the night!” Mitch exclaimed with a big smile.  “Come on Abby, I might not make us much money as Kris, but my game is just as good,” he winked.

“You just might be a little more pathetic,” I said as I shook my head.

“Would you stand still!” my mom whined as I fidgeted uncomfortably in my tux.  She was attempting to pin it so that she could hem the pants and the sleeves of my coat.  Since I wasn’t home early enough to get fitted for my tux with the rest of the guys, my mom had to undertake the task of getting it ready in time for the wedding.  “I swear you have ADD sometimes,” she mumbled through her teeth that held some straight pins between them.

“I’m pretty sure over half the NHL could be diagnosed with that disorder,” I chuckled.

“So I hear you are taking Janell as your date?  Is this the same Janell you went to school with?”

I sighed thinking about the red-head I had asked one night when I was drunk with some of the guys at the hometown hangout.  If it wouldn’t have been for Freddy making a snide remark about it the next day, I probably would have forgotten I even asked.  Janell was a hot number but unfortunately for her, she was short a few screws and it seemed she laughed at everything I said.  In High School she was the chick everyone wanted to get with, now she was basically the girl that did get with everyone and all the smart people stayed far away.  I’ve obviously had my head punched a few too many times.  “Yeah, that’s her,” I grimaced.

“Oh, she’s such a nice girl,” my mom went on.  Of course my mom would say this because she thought everyone was “nice,” especially when they would meet up with her around town and praise any of her 3 boys.  Good Grief.

“Yup,” was all I said, because there was no way in hell I was going to explain to my mom that in all actuality the girl was for lack of better terms, a slut. 

“So how are you holding up?” she suddenly asked.

“What do you mean?” I asked, honestly not quite sure what she was questioning.

“Well, I’m sure this wedding was a bit of a shock to you…”

“I’m just glad Trevor and Dawn are happy.  That’s all that really matters to me,” I spoke honestly.  “They really seem happy together.”

“They do, don’t they?” my mom smiled up at me.  “How has your search been going?”

I frowned and looked down at her as I shrugged.  “I thought I found her, but things changed I guess.”

“Things will work out if they were meant to be,” she said thoughtfully.  Geesh, real original mom.

“How the hell doesn’t he know that you came to Toronto?” I asked as Mitch picked me up at the airport in Lethbridge the morning of Dawn and Trevor’s wedding.  It was 2 weeks after him and Dawn came to visit me and I’m fairly sure I now have an ulcer from debating back and forth if this was the right thing or not.  Not to say I had much of a choice after Mitch talked with my Dad…

“He was in Kenora for Mike Richard’s charity golf thing, so he didn’t know a damn thing,” Mitch smiled broadly while throwing my luggage in the trunk of his car.

“Is this your car?” I asked, putting my hands on my hips and giving the car a thorough look over, attitude dripping from each word.

Mitch leaned on the roof and looked at me warily as he answered, “Yes, the Civic is my car.”

“Oh, well I don’t think I can ride in something so low class,” I shot back, unable to hide my smile and soon after my laughter.

“Ugh! You soo do not deserve to ride in the Audi!” he complained in an over-exaggerated manner.  “Well princess, you better get in the damn car so I can get you over to Dawn’s house so that you have time to get ready for prince charming,” he motioned.

I took a deep breath and climbed in the car before I had a chance to make a break for it.