Ch. 26

A/N: Thank you all for your wonderful comments!! I enjoy them and they make me want to keep this story going on forever...hehe.

Hear me out
Day follows day
Light turns to clay in my hands

How to explain,
So pristine the pain
It was kindness made the cut so clean

I still care for you.

Open me
You'll find
Only bones burned to glass.

I still care for you.

Ray LaMontagne – I Still Care For You

Ch. 26

“So what’s this I hear you don’t have a date to my wedding?” Dawn chirped me as we sat in downtown Lethbridge at my favorite ice cream shop a few days after Trevor’s bachelor party.

“Gee, so glad people like to gossip about me,” I growled.  As much as I was happy to be home, I often found myself wanting to be somewhere else due to conversations like this one.  It made me irritable.

“Oh come on Kris, we live vicariously through you back here.  I don’t want to hear you bitch,” she laughed as she stole my cherry off the top of my sundae like she always did when we were dating.

“Well let’s see,” I began.  “I finally found someone that made me want to be faithful and made me not think of only myself.”

“So you mean you fell in love,” Dawn asked yet it came out more like a reaffirming statement.

“Yeah,” I nodded before taking a spoon full of ice cream into my mouth, hoping it would freeze out the ache I always felt when talking about Abby.

“So what happened?”

“She dumped me.”

“Did you go after her?”

“She insisted I stay away…”

I looked up to find Dawn looking at my like I was messed up.  “Seriously?  Why the hell would you do that?”

“Because her Dad was really in bad shape and I didn’t think it was the right time to just go barging in and demand for her to change her mind,” I said simply, even if it did sound like a lame excuse out in the open.  “Besides, I’m not even quite sure if her dad approves of me…”

“Who is her dad?”

“Brian Burke.”

“Oh, holy hell Kris, that’s like dealing with a royal family!” Dawn exclaimed.

“Brian maybe, but not Abby and Patrick, they are both really cool people.”

“Well, I guess we better find you a new date because you are not going stag,” Dawn said after a lull in the conversation.  “I don’t think it should be too hard considering you are probably considered Lethbridge’s most eligible bachelor at the moment,” she giggled as I just groaned and rolled my eyes.

“So, I’m bringing you some of Grandma’s chocolate chip cookies as a bribe…” Mitch chuckled as he handed the box to me.  I didn’t take them until I hugged him tightly.  “Shit, maybe I’ll just change my mission and just sweet talk you into being my girlfriend,” he joked as he ran his finger tips down my bare back making me jump back and split up the hug.  The girl that was looking at me curiously just slapped him on the back of the head and cursed at him.

“Seriously Mitch, this is exactly why I came along because you Versteeg’s totally get off task when it comes to dealing with women,” she sighed and pushed him aside.  “Abby, my name is Dawn.”

Dawn, as in Kris’s ex-girlfriend. Holy Shit.  I don’t know what I was expecting she would look like, but it wasn’t this.  She was actually a little shorter than me with dark, shoulder length hair.  She was stick thin with maybe b-cup breasts.  She looked slightly high maintenance yet there was something friendly about her smile.  “Nice to meet you Dawn,” I smiled back as I shook her hand, quickly apologizing for my pruned fingers.  “So I must say this is a huge surprise,” I said looking back and forth between the two of them.

“Nice place ya got here, Abbs,” Mitch continued with the small talk.

“Thanks.”

“Well we have some things to talk to you about,” Mitch piped up suddenly.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, and I’m pretty sure you know who the main topic is about…” he said, helping himself to a seat at the patio table.  “But first, we need milk if we are going to eat these cookies,” he said as he opened the tin.

“Um, I think those are my cookies,” I said, quickly swiping them from his paws.

“Come on Abby, I’ve been smelling the damn things the whole plane ride here…” he whined.

“I’ll get the milk, kids,” Kristy intervened, taking the tin of cookies from me and quickly running off into the house as Mitch, Dawn and I were left scowling.

“I’m just going to cut to the chase,” Dawn began.  “We are here to find out if you still have feelings for Kris.”

I sat back, slightly shocked by her bluntness, especially considering this was the first time we were meeting.  “Um…”

“Oh come on Abby.  I saw the two of you together in Reading and you cannot say that you didn’t have feelings for him…”

“Would you let me speak you ass,” I threw back at him.  “I’ll just say this.  I have never met a guy like Kris.”

“He is a different breed,” Dawn giggled in agreement.  “It’s scary though how much Mitch and Bryce take after him,” she finished.

“So are you going to cut to the chase here or not, you two?” I asked as Kristy came back out with the cookies on a tray with some milk in glasses.

“If she tells you she ain’t still in love with Kris, she’s lying big time,” Kristy announced.  She was totally lucky to be carrying the cookies and milk; otherwise I would have punched her.

“Well, that’s exactly what we were wondering,” Dawn said seriously.  “Abby, I’m going to tell you something I never thought I’d ever say after being with him for so many years.  I’ve never seen Kris so bummed out about something that didn’t have to do with hockey or his car.  When he finally opened up and told me about you; I could honestly see something in his eyes that I never saw when he spoke to me about our relationship.  The only thing that makes me hesitant about this whole mission is the fact that you were the one that hurt him and that it’s basically your fault that he hasn’t been smiling as much as he usually does.  So with that being said, if we go through with this plan, you have to promise not to hurt him again.”

Tears of embarrassment, hurt and happiness began spilling down my cheeks.  “For lack of better terms, I was being selfish.”

“Family is always most important,” Mitch suddenly spoke up, sounding a lot older than before.  “Kris had explained to me what you’ve been through and I can totally understand the inner war you have probably been struggling with, Abby…”

“But I have to worry about myself too, right?” I cut him off.  “You have no idea how much I’ve heard that since the end of March,” I mumbled while looking down at the full glass of milk in front of me.  I looked up at him and Dawn who looked a little surprised by my outburst.  “God, look at me, I’m not even fit to be around others…” I sighed.  “It’s just…ugh, everyone keeps telling how I should be handling myself and pointing out how I’ve been wrong in my decisions that it just gets old.  I know I fucked up.  I know that I can’t always control what happens to my friends and family, but sometimes old habits are hard to kick.  I was doing better with that whole fact when I was with Kris, but my Dad’s accident kind of set me back.  So now I’m here, without Kris, and basically without a home after the summer because my Dad has informed me that I will be heading back to Philly so that I can go to Drexel for school,” I blubbered on, noting Kristy’s gasp at the Philly news, since this was the first she had heard about it.

“You know you sound like a spoiled brat,” Mitch said bluntly.  “Kris really should have just stopped here after the game in Ottawa like he originally planned and slap some sense in you.”

“Mitch…” Dawn hissed.

“He’s totally right,” Kristy spoke up, garnering a glare from me.  “Seriously, Abby.  If Kris would know exactly how you’ve been acting he might have actually dumped your ass or at least tell you to get your act together.”

“I’m scared,” I said quietly.  “I’m just scared to live my own life.  I mean look, it’s totally filled with tragic endings, who’s to say that won’t happen here?”

“That’s why we take chances in life,” Dawn suddenly spoke up.  “If I wouldn’t have walked out that night Kris was informed he was being traded, we wouldn’t even be here today and I wouldn’t have realized what I was missing in life.  As much as I loved Kris, Trevor was the chance of a lifetime that I would have probably missed out on if I allowed fear of the unknown to stop me.”

“So what’s this mission?”

“I’m asking you to be my date for Dawn and Trevor’s wedding,” Mitch announced proudly as he puffed out his chest, looking exactly like his brother, but with darker hair.

“What?”

“Yeah, that’s the plan,” Dawn said, sounding like she just now might be second guessing the whole deal.  “We’re uh, we’re going for the element of surprise here,” she continued.  “You know, like in the movies, the girl shows up and the guy is reminded that he still loves her, blah, blah, blah…I’m a total hopeless romantic,” she finished with a smile and a wink.

“And what if the hopeless romantic part bombs and he flips out?” I asked sincerely.

“Then at least you know the ending,” Kristy answered.

“And then I have a date for the rest of the night!” Mitch exclaimed with a big smile.  “Come on Abby, I might not make us much money as Kris, but my game is just as good,” he winked.

“You just might be a little more pathetic,” I said as I shook my head.

“Would you stand still!” my mom whined as I fidgeted uncomfortably in my tux.  She was attempting to pin it so that she could hem the pants and the sleeves of my coat.  Since I wasn’t home early enough to get fitted for my tux with the rest of the guys, my mom had to undertake the task of getting it ready in time for the wedding.  “I swear you have ADD sometimes,” she mumbled through her teeth that held some straight pins between them.

“I’m pretty sure over half the NHL could be diagnosed with that disorder,” I chuckled.

“So I hear you are taking Janell as your date?  Is this the same Janell you went to school with?”

I sighed thinking about the red-head I had asked one night when I was drunk with some of the guys at the hometown hangout.  If it wouldn’t have been for Freddy making a snide remark about it the next day, I probably would have forgotten I even asked.  Janell was a hot number but unfortunately for her, she was short a few screws and it seemed she laughed at everything I said.  In High School she was the chick everyone wanted to get with, now she was basically the girl that did get with everyone and all the smart people stayed far away.  I’ve obviously had my head punched a few too many times.  “Yeah, that’s her,” I grimaced.

“Oh, she’s such a nice girl,” my mom went on.  Of course my mom would say this because she thought everyone was “nice,” especially when they would meet up with her around town and praise any of her 3 boys.  Good Grief.

“Yup,” was all I said, because there was no way in hell I was going to explain to my mom that in all actuality the girl was for lack of better terms, a slut. 

“So how are you holding up?” she suddenly asked.

“What do you mean?” I asked, honestly not quite sure what she was questioning.

“Well, I’m sure this wedding was a bit of a shock to you…”

“I’m just glad Trevor and Dawn are happy.  That’s all that really matters to me,” I spoke honestly.  “They really seem happy together.”

“They do, don’t they?” my mom smiled up at me.  “How has your search been going?”

I frowned and looked down at her as I shrugged.  “I thought I found her, but things changed I guess.”

“Things will work out if they were meant to be,” she said thoughtfully.  Geesh, real original mom.

“How the hell doesn’t he know that you came to Toronto?” I asked as Mitch picked me up at the airport in Lethbridge the morning of Dawn and Trevor’s wedding.  It was 2 weeks after him and Dawn came to visit me and I’m fairly sure I now have an ulcer from debating back and forth if this was the right thing or not.  Not to say I had much of a choice after Mitch talked with my Dad…

“He was in Kenora for Mike Richard’s charity golf thing, so he didn’t know a damn thing,” Mitch smiled broadly while throwing my luggage in the trunk of his car.

“Is this your car?” I asked, putting my hands on my hips and giving the car a thorough look over, attitude dripping from each word.

Mitch leaned on the roof and looked at me warily as he answered, “Yes, the Civic is my car.”

“Oh, well I don’t think I can ride in something so low class,” I shot back, unable to hide my smile and soon after my laughter.

“Ugh! You soo do not deserve to ride in the Audi!” he complained in an over-exaggerated manner.  “Well princess, you better get in the damn car so I can get you over to Dawn’s house so that you have time to get ready for prince charming,” he motioned.

I took a deep breath and climbed in the car before I had a chance to make a break for it.